I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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