I take back everything I said about communal showers
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize