i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We need to rekindle our bromance
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
