U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
