the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
