Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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