No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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