so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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