We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
