Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize