drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
