I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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