dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
