in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
