yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
