The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
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So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
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Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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