So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
When are your genitals available?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
