I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
