It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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