Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
