so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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