You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
