She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
