My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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