She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
