Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
