He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
