I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
