I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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