Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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