She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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