Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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