I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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