your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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