Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
