you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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