Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize