I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
