duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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