Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
