yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
