i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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