all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize