already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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