remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
