My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
