friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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