Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
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