O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
