PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
