Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
