it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
