Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
