Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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