i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
