You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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