I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
