My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
